With the holiday season in full swing, we find ourselves in the midst of a fever pitch cocktail, where a potentially volatile combination of excitement, action, obligation, and dread simmers on low. Occuring before/during whatever gift-based holiday you may celebrate, the intensity of this season exists in the natural world, sans-rival.
As a child, you were on the right side of said cocktail. Every sunset was hailed as a blessing bringing you closer to gifts. Obligation was nil, rewards boundless. But now, you’ve grown up. Old people call you an adult. What used to be a countdown to immeasurable joy has become a countdown to your extended family realizing how poor and irresponsible you’ve turned out to be. A once smiling aunt-in-law now feigns gratitude, neither fooled nor amused by your name scribbled beneath your mother’s on a card whose corresponding gift you clearly had no part in purchasing.
In addition to whatever religious holiday you may observe, Californians have another reason to celebrate this year, and this one doesn’t involve the disapproving vibes emanating from non-blood relatives you barely know. On January 1st, 2018, weed finally becomes recreationally legal in California for adults over 21, meaning anyone in The Golden State can legally consume cannabis without having to obtain a doctor’s recommendation.
For those of us on the West Coast, this is exciting. But what about the illegal stoners in your life? Think of your college roommate who took a job in Virginia, or a colleague who was transferred to Texas. While we rejoice, they’re trapped in backwards prohibition states, forced to contend with the wrath of local law enforcement and buy brick weed out the back of a Hyundai. When it comes down to it, all these holidays and religions are touting the same thing this time of year: be selfless, be giving, be kind. So, instead of spending all your money on yourself like I accidently always do, why not honor California’s transition to legality by making it easier for friends in square states to enjoy the enchanted gift of getting stoned? Not only will the illegal stoner be forever grateful, you can tell people the reason you don’t have gifts for them is because you bought gifts for the needy instead. Two birds, my friend.
To aid in your newfound charitable endeavour, here are some of the best smoking accessories on the market, courtesy of our friends at Namaste Vapes and EveryoneDoesIt. All of the following canna-gift recommendations can be legally shipped directly to the less fortunate, regardless of what weedless hellscape they may currently inhabit.
4 Part EHLE Grinder
($19.95)
Ringing in at a mere $20 for the 35mm size, this grinder is a foolproof winner for an old friend you haven’t seen in awhile. Regardless of what smoking preference is popular in the Republican land they may inhabit, grinders can be as useful with bongs and pipes as they are with joints, spliffs, and flower vapes. Plus, the essential tool can even be used to make hash. Hell, your friend doesn’t even have to smoke weed; you can use the EHLE for grinding up anything — spices, tobacco, clay for face masks, you name it.
While most grinders are pretty whatever, the 4 Part EHLE Grinder goes above and beyond the rest. Also available in a medium (63mm) and a larger (75mm), the grinder’s sleek design features CNC’d aluminum, making it strong and durable enough to withstand even the most rugged lifestyle, while diamond-shaped teeth cut the densest flower with ease. Heavy duty magnets hold the two main halves together, and the sifter screen collects kief (complete with a little built-in scraper tool for collecting). On the large 75mm version, an engraving next to the EHLE logo can hold a pack of papers, transforming it from simple grinder to one stop smoke shop. Just tell the gift recipient to pack it full of weed, grab some papers, and they’re good to go.
Flytlab Lift
($149.95)
Everyone has that one friend who’s always been a bit of a nervous nelly. This is the homie who was first to suggest plugging the dorm room bathroom with towels before lighting up, who’s made so many sploofs that it’s bordering on an arsenal, and who always scares the shit out of you when smoking in the woods by asking, “Did you hear that??”
To ease this anxious smoker’s fitful mind, we suggest the Flytlab Lift vape, a “no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point” vaporizer that’s equal parts inconspicuous and practical. Ultra-compact with a collapsable mouthpiece, the stylish device barely looks like the vaporizers of yesteryear and will ensure that onlookers, parents, and even cops will be none the wiser to your public smoke sesh. One of the chillest vapes we’ve seen all year, the Flytlab Lift is a must for stoners who love weed but also love to say, “Yeah, I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough???” They’ll rest easy after one rip off this guy.
The Shatterizer
($54.95)
Whereas the EHLE grinder is a great weed gift for just about anyone, this versatile, affordable concentrate vape is far more niche, suited for the heavy duty stoner who knows what they’re doing. That said, The Shatterizer is the best product I’ve seen of its kind, especially at its incredibly reasonable price point.
The one-stop vape experience is ideal for those who dabble in the most intense forms of cannabis consumption. Its compatibility with densely textured concentrates like wax and, of course, shatter sets it apart, as either would burn the coil out on a normal vape pen immediately, rendering it useless. Effectively replacing the need for a dab rig — one of the only other ways to smoke concentrates like shatter — the Shatterizer’s twin coil heating system ensures terpenes and cannabinoids are vaporized evenly, while the borosilicate glass top piece keeps hits smooth and great-tasting.
The Anthony Dab Rig
($59)
If your homie is a cannabis purist, maybe the kind of person who isn’t into the futuristic gear like the Shatterizer but loves to get unfathomably high on the most potent forms of cannabis, we’ve got the gift suggestion for you. Cheech, Chong and their classic stoner wisdom have bestowed upon us a canna-product that even a staunch traditionalist will appreciate.
The Genius Pipe
($79.95)
The whole process of consuming dabs, shatter, wax, and whatnot can be a bit much, especially in illegal states where high-end concentrates can be hard, if not impossible, to come by. If the previous gift suggestion seems a bit excessive, and your friend would prefer something with a dash of discretion, look no further than this sexy, futuristic take on the backseat stoner staple: the weed pipe.
The Genius Pipe is a beautifully-designed step up from the resinated mess of headshop glass we’ve been smoking out of for decades. Offering a bong-like filtration system and specially-designed to cool the smoke before it hits your lips, The Genius Pipe will mark an end to the days when you end up high, confused, then assaulted by an unexpected gush of burning hot ash filling your mouth. I imagine this tool as the perfect option for the reformed stoner who now lives in an illegal state for professional reasons — someone who doesn’t smoke a lot, but when they choose to indulge, it will surely be in style.
PAX 3 Vape
($199)
This brilliant little invention is ideal for the tech-savvy stoner living in an illegal state, someone who likely is counting the days until they can move to somewhere like California or Colorado. Existing at the forefront of cannabis innovation, the PAX line is sleek, easy-to-use, and astoundingly effective. For those who work long, creative hours on the computer and want to get high intermittently from their desk, the Pax is the answer, especially since the vapor it emits doesn’t linger.
While PAX Labs is widely hailed as one of the best vape companies in the game, their recent addition, the PAX 3, is a definite step-up. Similar in design to the popular PAX and PAX 2 models — and equally discrete — the PAX 3 excels in terms of versatility. Not only is it compatible with both flower and concentrates, it could very well be the device to replace all other smoking devices. The ability to switch between flower and concentrate is pretty priceless, especially if you’re friend is in a place where concentrates are not an option. You can even use the PAX on planes without breaking a sweat, trust me 😉
Arizer Air II and Arizer Solo II Vapes
($248.95 and $239.95, respectively)
These vapes, IMO, should only be gifted to one of the following three people: 1. The illegal stoner closest to your heart 2. Someone you’re trying to impress. 3. A pitiful old friend who’s infatuated with flower-only vapes and just can’t seem to get it together enough to procure one for themselves. Conceptually, the Arizer Air II and Solo 2 are perfect for those living in concentrate-less states in the middle of the country. Quality-wise, they’re ideal for anyone committed to sophisticated smoking.
Arizer’s Solo II is an overhauled, updated version of their original Solo model. Featuring a removable glass straws that function as its mouthpiece, as well as a full LCD display for temperature levels and battery life, the Arizer is pretty much the Cadillac of next-gen vapes. If your friend or loved one is looking to upgrade their vape to something luxurious, you know what to get them this holiday season.
The Arizer Air II, on the other hand, is branded as “the next evolution” of the classic Arizer Air Vaporizer, and we have to agree. With suped-up features like hybrid heating, a quick warm-up time, and long-lasting batteries, this vape is ideal for any smoker in an illegal state who’s on the move. Whether your friend likes to hike, or take subtle rips in public without anyone noticing, the Air II is ideal to keep them lifted while nixing any anxiety about getting caught. As our friends at Namaste Vaporizers write, “As soon as we heard that the Canadian manufacturers were going to be releasing a new version of the Air, we just knew we had to have it for you.” Cheers to that!
